Kids

“We’re not going to kill you. Just mama.” - @felixerrichard #parenthood #truelove

“Why do you have a cow on your hat?” @felixerrichard - on seeing a bulls hat. Demonstrating my inability to teach him about sports.

Me: I’m going on another trip, buddy, so I won’t see you tomorrow. @milorichard : good. I love that. #trollgamestrong

. @felixerrichard is now insouciantly introducing himself as “Batman”. #terriblesecretidentity

Me: “Hey guys, what’re you talking about?” @milorichard and @felixerrichard : “You dying.” #uplifting

“Today I will kill you.” - @felixerrichard

“You’re not ever going to be a part of the family!” - @felixerrichard #goodmorning #fatheroftheyear

“You go away. I hate you, Rex” @felixerrichard talking to a dinosaur.

Welp. @milorichard just legitimately beat me in chess.

Hey @shawnimal , @felixerrichard had an idea for a new zipper pull. “Tell your friend who makes the ninjas that diggers are really cool, …

“When will you ever come home soon enough?” @milorichard after I miss bedtime reading for third day in a row. #papaoftheyear #gutted

. @felixerrichard , as he destroys his cousin’s art: “I HATE ART!” ironically, an amazing piece of performance art.

. @felixerrichard is awake because he: a)wants a brown egg b)likes Gouda cheese more than muenster cheese c)is a baby cat d)all of the above

Me: “ @milorichard , please be helpful.” @milorichard : “I am, I am the government.” Me: “…”

Eating dinner at handlebar while @milorichard and @felixerrichard talk about being here with @mistermudshark and @reedmorebooks .

“Share your toy or we’ll kill you and put you in jail!” - @felixerrichard supposedly quoting his preschool teacher #unreliablesource …

“ @felixerrichard , do you see what happens when you try to stab someone?” - @milorichard #realtalk

“Why didn’t we do teamwork?!” - @milorichard half crying because @felixerrichard opened a door without him.

#RobotTurtles with @milorichard a bunch. Asked if he wanted to send @danshapiro thank you note. He said no bc: “it’s kinda too hard for …

Falling asleep on the train because @felixerrichard doesn’t think sleeping at night is cool.

“Put the hammer down. I will help you.” - @felixerrichard

“Good night, not nice father.” - @milorichard #kickingassatthisfatherhoodthing

Hey @dansinker ! Thanks for telling me about the moon earlier. It blew @milorichard ’s mind… Also, it was pretty.

Oh man… @milorichard just figured out how to ghost ride his scooter.

“Bye Papa. I’m escaping tomorrow, for real.” - @milorichard

. @felixerrichard just told me all about how I am afraid of dinosaurs but @broox keeps me safe.

“You know, you’re one of my best papas.” - @milorichard

Hanging out with @milorichard playing with legos listening to chumbawamba (singsong and a scrap) drinking coffee. Wonderful morning.

2 years ago my tiny little boy, @felixerrichard , was born. Nothing but joy from that one!

spent a good hour with @milorichard playing #robotturtles. Thanks @danshapiro !

“Let’s go to mama, @felixerrichard . Papa’s boring.” - @milorichard

“Boss of the world” … @milorichard has a new nickname for his tyrannical father.

“Dear Santa, some days I am good. Love @milorichard ” #saddestsantaletter #settingthebarlow

“This is turning out to be a good night, I saw a coconut , and now I know how to snap! " - @milorichard