Twitter — @dylanr

can ASAP (As Simply As Possible) be a thing?

Today is my awesome sister @ellemra17 ’s birthday. In her honor I’m going to eat all the cake.

“You go away. I hate you, Rex” @felixerrichard talking to a dinosaur.

Well, at least we’re getting some of that snow we’ve been missing this winter.

i spend a lot of my life listening to @omgitsjsh say words. which I like.

I am getting retargeted ads for peeps. I am simultaneously pleased and ashamed.

bran flakes, greek yogurt and cheap beer is a totally legit combo, right?

I’ve started wearing a robe around the house, so I’m about 2 white Russians away from just turning into the dude.

I’m really excited for how the new Harper Lee book is going to mess with @harper ’s mentions.

Welp. @milorichard just legitimately beat me in chess.

Hey @shawnimal , @felixerrichard had an idea for a new zipper pull. “Tell your friend who makes the ninjas that diggers are really cool, …

I wish I could get more @PeanutChews locally. :(

“When will you ever come home soon enough?” @milorichard after I miss bedtime reading for third day in a row. #papaoftheyear #gutted

Holy crap, earth crisis just randomly came on shuffle and just like that I’m 16 again.

Watching @harper seethe. That man is not a fan of traffic.

it’s normal to turn slightly and have your back crack like 20 times, right?

Dat post dentist coffee. Making me think about @aaronsalmon .

. @felixerrichard , as he destroys his cousin’s art: “I HATE ART!” ironically, an amazing piece of performance art.

. @felixerrichard is awake because he: a)wants a brown egg b)likes Gouda cheese more than muenster cheese c)is a baby cat d)all of the above

I love Howard Tull-mints. /cc @tullman

Wonders how @harper ’s flight was… Checks twitter… o_O

sometimes, I wonder if @harper is simply a markov chain.

Important lesson from the little kid named Dylan who sat behind me on the plane. Dylans don’t give a fuck. /cc @dylanreed

Counting on @Refused to help me keep my sanity during this trip.

“That’s not a pirate ship, that’s the Mayflower.” “…well…” #thanksgiving

So when I walk past a line of people waiting outside in the snow for a concert and think “what are these kids thinking?” Am I old now …

“It’s like the apple store, but for cheese!”

“That was the one thing I did that was not awesome.” @CLINT

Is delivery bloody Marys a thing? If not, why not?

Fucking puns.

Yes I did just leave a “lmk if you ever want to sell” note on a stranger’s ‘96 golf. #fightme #harlequin

Me: “ @milorichard , please be helpful.” @milorichard : “I am, I am the government.” Me: “…”

Tonight’s bedtime brought to you by: promises, bargaining and flat out lies.

Once again, many thanks to @dansinker for mobilejudges.com

All these commuters are amazed by this radical new thing called stairs.

Is that actually snow?

Apparently everyone forgot how to train this morning.

Airport laps.

Eating dinner at handlebar while @milorichard and @felixerrichard talk about being here with @mistermudshark and @reedmorebooks .

a single serve site to show and explain @clint ’s twitter name.

“Share your toy or we’ll kill you and put you in jail!” - @felixerrichard supposedly quoting his preschool teacher #unreliablesource …

sudden realization that it will soon be snow all the time.

Get name on side of building. Do it in comic sans. Rich people, step up your troll game.

Serious flashbacks listening to Gordon Segal talk.