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You know what’s awesome? @handlebarchi is awesome.

in weeks my @googlenexus 5x went from the best phone ever to unusable. freezes and restarts randomly and often. frustrating.

“it’s so choice” is a perfectly reasonable way to compliment something, right?

I have lovely laser cut wood stuff from @dansinker. It is awesome. It smells like campfire which makes me happy. Now I want marshmallows.

One of the most frustrating things about having a big beard is trying to use a water fountain.

Tonight @milorichard told me about what he collects… Pokemon cards (ok), cool leafs (aww), teeth (wait, what?), bear claws (how in the..)

. @felixerrichard was bummed to find out that the ‘DINO-mite’ class he’s gonna take is about dinosaurs and not explosives.

Somebody wake me up when it’s safe to feel again.

Me: Felix, sit down at the dinner table. @felixerrichard: But Papa, I just want to dance! I am the tiny town in footloose.

Thread and article are both so good. twitter.com

TFW your hoodie is soaked from the rain but it’s covering your Satanic cat shirt.

That 17th cup of coffee may have been a mistake.

There are a staggering amount of police vehicles headed towards ORD right now.

Just checked with @clint on whether something was appropriate or not. So that, apparently, is my yardstick.

. @felixerrichard after leaving @harper’s: “That party was awesome.”

At a VW dealership for first time in a while where none of my friends work there. Is this everyone else’s experience? It’s terrible.

. @felixerrichard: would you rather have a comfy chair or help the cat not die? Me: help the cat F: yeah, that’s how I’d vote, too

. @felixerrichard wrote a song. A snippet: “This is my body, this is my head. I am a seahorse who loves the dead.” Um… Merry …

. @milorichard on being asked to wear snow pants to go to recess and refusing: “My body, my choice!”

. @felixerrichard after brunch: “oh, my tummy hurts from eating too much.”

My children and how they demonstrate what their parents have taught them. A study in two tweets..

RT @CLINT: yeah basically twitter.com

RT @dansinker: Been thinking: What I want is power taken away from the white establishment and a profound change in the way America is run.

Just watching my friends’ pets Twitter accounts fight…

Somehow @EatFatRice NEVER fails to be amazing. So so good.

It’s “accidentally zip your beard in your coat” cold out.

i have watched this for 45 minutes now. twitter.com

That post dentist coffee. <3 /cc @aaronsalmon

A whole bunch of kids just got on this holiday train expecting Santa and saw me instead. I have never been a greater disappointment.

“Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One sat down and turned on the TV.” <turns on tv> @felixerrichard is on a roll tonight.

“Let’s all list one thing we’re not thankful for.” - @felixerrichard

I am unable to listen to When in Rome by Phil Ochs without crying.

Just had a nice @tedleo dance party with @felixerrichard. Would be a good start to most mornings, tbh.

wait, if this candidacy was a reality tv show and is on tv next season, I’m going to be so pissed.

“Hangouts is unable to connect to Google” thisisfine.png

“ wcom. There. Nailed it!” - @felixerrichard I am winning at parenting.

There are a lot of people on the train this morning who aren’t very good at being on a train.

My neighborhood is not quiet right now.

OH: “ @dylanr why are you breathing?” thanks @gaurisharma.

Commuting with noobs. Exercise in frustration.

Quick, someone please give me good things to think about humanity.

Excited for this. Speaking at Monitorama EU in 2013 was an amazing experience. Seriously great conference. Also, socks. twitter.com

pleased to realize that the explosions I’m hearing all around me are sports related, not the beginning of the impending war.

Just gonna spend this flight listening to @dansinker @maureenjohnson and @jbouie chat on the @sayswhopodcast.

Looking to maximize my time spent listening to hardcore and walking around cities. Is that a job one can have?