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My children being read Xmas books… When introduced to Scrooge they naturally assume that he’s a duck. #winningatparenting #DuckTales

Concourse E, the LGA of ORD.

This #givingtuesday I’m raising money for Chicago Friends School to help supply a classroom with Chromebooks and I’d love your support. …

People assume I’m a hipster because of my beard… Come on… I had a beard before it was cool.

So proud of this school. I am lucky to be a part of this community: dnainfo.com #dayofservice #dogood /cc @Chicago_Friends

. @felixerrichard just told me he was serious. I replied, “Hi Serious, I’m Papa.” Thus continues my descent into unimaginative …

Introduced The Goonies to my fam tonight. It is still awesome.

One of my favorite pastimes is sending notifications to the person sitting right next to me. /cc @tolar

. @felixerrichard just ran across a gym to kick a rubber cow in the face. Now it’s a party.

Little kids birthday parties are absolute pandemonium and joy. …and noise. A lot of noise.

Not guaranteed. twitter.com

got tickets for @deadmilkmen at @thetrocadero next month… 23 years and a few weeks since I last saw them there.

Huge thank you for the b-day wishes and to everyone who gave to @Chicago_Friends ( dylanr.com)! Love you all!

“just let the music consume you.” @felixerrichard explaining how to dance.

“Look at that beard!!! GET THAT SHIT OFF YO FACE!” -some guy on the street

It’s therapeutic listening to anthropology days by @deadmilkmen.

Having kids has apparently changed my taste for coffee where I now prefer it pretty much lukewarm.

Me: look at how pretty the lake is! @felixerrichard: I like to look at the graves instead. Imagine there are zombies coming for our brains!

this fugazi band is great.

should I fly to Philly for a day in October? signs point to yes. twitter.com

11:30 is far too late in the day for me to be having my first coffee.

. @felixerrichard: who would you rather die, me or @milorichard? Me: neither FR: you should probably take taekwondo lessons then #goodadvice

“look Papa, that car has the black panther symbol on it!” @felixerrichard pointing to a Penn State nittany lion sticker …

I need to never leave home without headphones.

. @felixerrichard: “It’s one of my mind games..” Me: “Mind games?” @felixerrichard: “Yeah, I’ve got a bunch …

RT @REALpunknews: Crass Release Box Set Directly Into Dumpster in Effort to Reach Core Fans thehardtimes.net

I need a service to remind me that it’s a bad idea whenever I book the red-eye with the whole family.

Us: “let’s think of things that rhyme with ‘sun’!” @felixerrichard : “FUN! GUN! … MUFFIN!” …

“What is that death smell?” @milorichard

“I know how to be a murderer.” @felixerrichard in singsong.

Training the kids to say, “wow, that’s a beautiful E30 m3.” #parenting

“I’m going to sleep like the woman god of death.” - @felixerrichard #Welp

RT @jewelia: A Sunday management lesson I’ve learned the hard way many times: It’s not what you say, it’s what the other person …

RT @6Gems: Listen. Everybody pattern matches. The sooner we all embrace this as fact the closer will be to adjusting our biases accordingly…

. @felixerrichard, looking at a Where’s Waldo book, loudly, in public: “Papa, I found Jesus!”

Kids read a book of their choice for a few mins before bed. Tonight, @milorichard chose the US Constitution. #nottotallyfuckingupparenting

You know what’s awesome? @handlebarchi is awesome.

in weeks my @googlenexus 5x went from the best phone ever to unusable. freezes and restarts randomly and often. frustrating.

“it’s so choice” is a perfectly reasonable way to compliment something, right?

I have lovely laser cut wood stuff from @dansinker. It is awesome. It smells like campfire which makes me happy. Now I want marshmallows.

One of the most frustrating things about having a big beard is trying to use a water fountain.

Tonight @milorichard told me about what he collects… Pokemon cards (ok), cool leafs (aww), teeth (wait, what?), bear claws (how in the..)

. @felixerrichard was bummed to find out that the ‘DINO-mite’ class he’s gonna take is about dinosaurs and not explosives.

Somebody wake me up when it’s safe to feel again.

Me: Felix, sit down at the dinner table. @felixerrichard: But Papa, I just want to dance! I am the tiny town in footloose.