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GPS directions to my house keep directing people to my alley.

/me would like this mid-grade headache to be over.

welp. gonna just spend my morning looking at pictures of kittens.

. @milorichard “this’ll make me feel better…” [forces pillow over my face]

Ridiculously excited for @modest be joining the @PayPal / @braintree team! We’re going to do amazing things! braintreepayments.com

Pretty sure I dropped my ventra card at @handlebarchi . Second lost in three weeks. Drat these new shorts and their uncontaining pockets.

Me: “Which do you want, milk or water?” @felixerrichard : “Blood. Blood, please.” #wtf

today is my amazing wife @sarah_slocum ’s birthday! so grateful to have her as my partner.

“WHAT NUMBER IS EIGHT?!?!?” - @harper

I’m somehow losing this argument I didn’t realize I was having. #parenthood

“No, Papa, he’s right. You need water to survive.” - @milorichard

“If you don’t like water, you’ll have to be killed.” - @felixerrichard

not sure why the @modest @sonos hates Pink Floyd.

watching @harper watching a video of @harper … #harperception

fortified with donuts.

listening to hall & oates and thinking of @thomasryan .

that vegan oatmeal creme pie is health food, right?

can i shift to an all watermelon diet?

“I can’t right now, because I’m dead. Sorry.” - @felixerrichard That boy knows how to shirk responsibility.

i am talking to myself. asking questions. out loud.

it is bright in here without sunglasses.

. @harper : gotta sort through all these pics of these people ME: it’s a search for images of your face H: yep ME: it’s all pics of you H: …

Great news everyone! Raspberries are still awesome.

switched to listening to Iron Maiden, because I’m actually 10 in my head.

listening to operation ivy, because I’m apparently still 13 in my head.

“How did I get here?” @gaurisharma

“So here we are on Mars.” medium.com a great example of why @jkriss is one of my favorite people.

The hippie exodus from Chicago this morning is a sight to behold.

A wild @CLINT has appeared! [insert picture I’m not actually going to take on a crowded train, because creepy]

Oh man… @Postmates works for @chicagodiner again. Terrible news for my wallet, great news for me!

Try to explain straight edge to a five year old and not feel stupid.

Awesome lunch at @handlebarchi with the kiddos listening to minor threat.. Or as my kids will know them, ‘oldies’.

“Why would you dress up like a pony? That’s the dumbest thing in the world.” - @milorichard after having bronies explained to him.

“Is karate a dangerous game for babies?” - @felixerrichard

“Papa, can you pause the fireworks?” - @milorichard

I am terrible at figuring out what I want for lunch.

working out of a coffee shop like it’s 2010 or something.

It’s in the fifties. It’s July. I’m going to wear shorts.

sometimes the misfits are the only thing that can get me to concentrate.

. @milorichard pretending to be a chicken: “I don’t want to be butchered! I don’t want to be butchered!”

I find myself following less tech bullshit on Twitter and more people striving to do good in the world. Wish there was a bigger overlap.

I could probably eat a whole watermelon in one sitting.

. @felixerrichard got his bangs cut and now he looks like yolandi.

“Watch my backwards jumping sports!” I may have failed @milorichard in sports learning.

Turns out, @harper is a square.