Notes

RT @harper: Dylan: “I am a vegetarian. I can’t have meat” Restaurant: “here is your dish. As you asked. No mint. " Dylan: …

/me pours one out for my orange sunglasses… Hopefully to be fixed tomorrow.

“Today I will kill you.” - @felixerrichard

who at @modest decided it would be ok to put Spice Girls on the @Sonos?

“What units do you usually use to measure fulfillment?” - @Arkmashton

How the fuck do I end up with no computers that can read a CD?

This morning’s shuffle gift: “it’s not easy being green” (Kermit) -> “return of the unicorn” (Sean Na Na) /cc …

Wtf happened in the last three hours when I wasn’t on the internet?

. @harper and I are terrible at being stuck in traffic.

Imma favorite my own tweet.

My google play music on random is amazing. The Muppets -> Minor Threat transition is actually great.

Fun to share what we’ve been working on @modest. Excited to help retailers. Ridiculously proud of the team and the product.

“Take your ninja out of your mouth when you’re talking.” #howiparent

Which circle of hell is a bunch of teenage girls doing Bohemian Rhapsody karaoke simultaneously?

18° feels so warm.

Chilling in a tunnel on the @ctablue… Medical emergency at Logan Square, apparently.

“You’re not ever going to be a part of the family!” - @felixerrichard #goodmorning #fatheroftheyear

possibly the worst part of going bald is knowing that I’ll never have a proper mohawk again.

can ASAP (As Simply As Possible) be a thing?

Today is my awesome sister @ellemra17’s birthday. In her honor I’m going to eat all the cake.

“You go away. I hate you, Rex” @felixerrichard talking to a dinosaur.

Well, at least we’re getting some of that snow we’ve been missing this winter.

i spend a lot of my life listening to @omgitsjsh say words. which I like.

I am getting retargeted ads for peeps. I am simultaneously pleased and ashamed.

bran flakes, greek yogurt and cheap beer is a totally legit combo, right?

I’ve started wearing a robe around the house, so I’m about 2 white Russians away from just turning into the dude.

I’m really excited for how the new Harper Lee book is going to mess with @harper’s mentions.

Welp. @milorichard just legitimately beat me in chess.

Hey @shawnimal, @felixerrichard had an idea for a new zipper pull. “Tell your friend who makes the ninjas that diggers are really cool, …

I wish I could get more @PeanutChews locally. :(

“When will you ever come home soon enough?” @milorichard after I miss bedtime reading for third day in a row. #papaoftheyear #gutted

Holy crap, earth crisis just randomly came on shuffle and just like that I’m 16 again.

Watching @harper seethe. That man is not a fan of traffic.

it’s normal to turn slightly and have your back crack like 20 times, right?

Dat post dentist coffee. Making me think about @aaronsalmon.

. @felixerrichard, as he destroys his cousin’s art: “I HATE ART!” ironically, an amazing piece of performance art.

. @felixerrichard is awake because he: a)wants a brown egg b)likes Gouda cheese more than muenster cheese c)is a baby cat d)all of the above

I love Howard Tull-mints. /cc @tullman

Wonders how @harper’s flight was… Checks twitter… o_O

sometimes, I wonder if @harper is simply a markov chain.

Important lesson from the little kid named Dylan who sat behind me on the plane. Dylans don’t give a fuck. /cc @dylanreed

Counting on @Refused to help me keep my sanity during this trip.

“That’s not a pirate ship, that’s the Mayflower.” “…well…” #thanksgiving

So when I walk past a line of people waiting outside in the snow for a concert and think “what are these kids thinking?” Am I old now …

“It’s like the apple store, but for cheese!”

“That was the one thing I did that was not awesome.” @CLINT

Is delivery bloody Marys a thing? If not, why not?

Fucking puns.

Yes I did just leave a “lmk if you ever want to sell” note on a stranger’s ‘96 golf. #fightme #harlequin

Me: “ @milorichard, please be helpful.” @milorichard: “I am, I am the government.” Me: “…”